Mondays Have No Colour

I’m sitting at my desk trying to make sense of everything. Am I ever going to get the right job? Am I a decent artist or do I have imposter syndrome? Where is my soulmate? Is life always going to be like this? Well, welcome to my Monday.

I often hear people say ‘Monday Blues’ and wonder why blue? Blue is my favourite colour and it brings me joy which Monday doesn’t. It’s the start of a new week. A new week. While I’ve hardly processed the last one. It’s interesting how we associate moods with the days of the week even before we experience them. Mondays are for defrosting from the weekend, Tuesdays are for shredding off that slumber, Wednesdays are for midweek blues(the colour again), Thursdays are spent waiting for Fridays and finally, Fridays are spent trying to close as many things as possible in the first half and mentally logging out in the second.

Mondays are particularly difficult for my now freelancing bum. I don’t know what to do in the morning, while someone somewhere is reading my job application is what I’m informed by a job search website. Since things are not happening at a faster pace as I’d hoped, I panic and send across more applications, thereby opening another waiting cycle. Things work out in their own time is what I’m told. But what about my time? What if I die before giving myself the life I always wanted to live? And this is my 25-year-old self talking amidst a pandemic and I don’t know how to reason with her. She has a point but so does the universe. Sure, I’m a speck of dust in the entirety of the universe but for me, it’s my whole life. My mess, full of memories and traumas. Yeah, I like to add a dash of existential dread to my day. It makes it extra crispy. Anyway, coming back to Monday. All my employed folks follow a routine that runs their day on auto-pilot. And here I am, the pilot, whose mind is all over the place and is now just staring at the buttons to make them work on their own, while the auto-pilot switch is nowhere to be seen. So, to move along with the day I think of taking a nap, but I hear the guilt belch in the corner. I mean, I’m freelancing and my days are generally free then why am I not? So, I decide to write this and then read a book later to feel a little productive on a Monday.

Mondays have no colour. They’re that bleh. Colours hold importance in my life since I love to paint and I don't see Mondays as colours but as blank canvases. Canvases that show up, irrespective of our wishes and whims. And so will I and I hope, so will you. Theek hai I guess. Din hi hai… beet jaayega.